Capital Reviews

 Persona 5: Strikers [game] IT IS SHOCKING HOW MUCH THIS IS AN ACTUAL GAME. MOSOU GAMES ARE GENERALLY THE LOWEST QUALITY TRASH FAN SERVICE NOTHING GAMES, BUT THIS IS LIKE, LEGITIMATE PERSONA SEQUEL. LIKE, THIS PROBABLY HAD AS MUCH ANIMATED CUT SCENE AS THE WHOLE ORIGINAL GAME AND HOURS OF DIALOG. STORY WISE TOO IT'S A WAY BETTER FOLLOWUP THAT ROYAL WAS. LIKE, P5 HAD ALL THE BAD GUYS BE CARTOON VILLIANS AND THIS IS STILL FAIRLY BLACK AND WHITE ABOUT IT, BUT MADE EVERY MONARCH A 'GOOD PERSON' AND DID AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THAT.  PS. IT'S WEIRD THEY NEVER MENTION AIGIS IN THE PLOT BUT ALSO I AM GLAD THEY DIDN'T

 Hotel Inferno [movie] I THINK THIS VERY STUPID MOVIE IS... KINDA GOOD? LIKE EVERY PART OF IT IS TERRIBLE AND IT KINDA WORKS? LIKE, FROM THE TRANSLATION BEING RESIDENT EVIL QUALITY AND THE ACTORS CLEARLY NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH, TO THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BEING SO BAD THEY ARE KINDA UNCANNY LOOKING, TO THE WEIRD ULTRA VIDEOGAME MECHANICY STORY TELLING LIKE A MAP TELLING WHERE AMMO IS TO THE KINDA COOL TAKE ON HOW DEMONS WORK. IT'S LIKE A WEIRD SILENT HILL MOVIE.  PS. I LIKE THAT THE MOVIE GIMMICK IS BEING FIRST PERSON AND IT STARTS OUT WITH HIM HAVING CYBER GLASSES THAT JUSTIFY THAT BUT THEY DROP THAT INSTANTLY. 

 All Hallow's Eve [play] THIS WAS A PLAY THAT WAS A REMAKE OF 'HALLOWEEN' BUT LIKE, WHAT IF SHAKESPEARE WROTE IT. IT'S A CHARMING IDEA AND THEY DID A GOOD JOB WITH IT. SOME OF THE "THEY ARE JUST SAYING STUFF" DIALOG MADE IT IN AND THAT WAS FUN. I DIDN'T LIKE WHEN THEY USED ACTUAL SHAKESPEARE LINES, IF HE WROTE IT HE WOULDN'T QUOTE HIMSELF!  PS. I WATCHED A LIVE STREAM OF IT AND THE AUDIO WAS SUPER QUIET BUT THE SOUND EFFECTS WERE PUT RIGHT INTO THE STREAM SO I HAD TO TURN IT WAY UP THEN EVERY TIME THE HALLOWEEN SOUND WOULD PLAY IT'D BLAST OUT THE SPEAKERS. 

 Halloween [movie] I THINK I'VE WATCHED ALL THE HALLOWEEN MOVIES, BUT MOSTLY NOT IN THE SPAN OF THE EXISTENCE OF CAPITAL REVIEWS AND THEY MOSTLY BLEND TOGETHER AS BEING "JASON MOVIES BUT WORSE" BUT LIKE A LOT OF THESE HORROR SERIES THE FIRST ONE IS GOOD.  I THINK THIS DOING A LOT OF BROAD DAYLIGHT NON-SUPERNATURAL STALKING BEFORE THE CLIMAX IS A THING A LOT OF THESE MOVIES DON'T HAVE.  PS. I FEEL LIKE THE BEST PART OF THIS IS HOW MUCH "JUST SAYING STUFF" BASED DIALOG THERE IS.  IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY LIKE A COMEDY MOVIE, THERE IS JUST A LOT OF SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING AND SOMEONE SAYING SOME LITTLE STUPID COMMENT ON IT THAT IS VERY CHARMING. 

 Terrifier 2 [movie] EH? I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE SAME REACTION AS THE FIRST ONE. I WANT TO LIKE IT BUT I JUST DON'T. IT'S LIKE, A MOVIE THAT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT EMOTION IT'S TRYING TO RAISE. LIKE IT'S DOING A GREAT JOB MAKING A 1980S STYLE MASCOT MONSTER BUT A LOT OF THE KILLS ARE TOO BRUTAL TO BE JUST CAMPY 1980S "LOOK AT THIS CAMPY GORE" TYPE STUFF, AND LIKE, IF IT *WAS* THAT IT'D BE A GOOD CONCEPT FOR A MOVIE, A SILLY HORROR MONSTER THAT IS THE LIKE "HOLY CRAP NO, THIS IS ACTUALLY SCARY" BUT IT'S NOT THAT EITHER. LIKE IT HAS AN EXTREMELY LONG SCENE OF JUST SCOURING A KID WITH A WHIP AND IT'S NOT REALLY SCARY PARTICULARLY, JUST BRUTAL. BUT IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE, HOSTEL STYLE TORTURE PORN WHERE THE POINT IS JUST LOOKING AT SUFFERING. IT'S JUST KINDA NOTHING. LIKE I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE LIKE THIS MOVIE AND THAT SEEMS FINE BUT IT'S JUST SO MEH. PS. ALSO THE MOVIE SHOULD BE LIKE 80 MINUTES LONG, NOT 2 HOURS. 

 Wild Robot [movie] IT'S FUNNY THAT PIXAR USED TO BE THE GOOD ONE AND DREAMWORKS WAS THE BAD ONE. MY NEPHEW WAS AFRAID TO EVEN WATCH THIS HE WAS SO SURE IT WOULD BE SAD AND IT WAS PRETTY SAD. I ALSO LIKE HOW THEY DID THE CARTOON JOKE OF SOMEONE GETTING HURT THEN OFF SCREEN BEING LIKE "I'M OKAY" SO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T REAL, BUT THIS MOVIE IS LIKE 60/40 SHOWING SOMETHING IS OKAY AFTER OR BEING LIKE "NO, IT'S DEAD". LIKE THERE WAS PLOT RELEVANT DEATH BUT THEN JUST A BIRD GETTIMG RIPPED IN HALF AS A GAG. PS. QUICK SOMEONE MAKE AN EDIT BETWEEN THIS MOVIE AND ASUKA FIGHTING THE PRODUCTION MODELS AND SAYING SHE HAS 12,000 LAYERS OF ARMOR AND HER MOTHER'S LOVE BUT SHE'S A GOOSE