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prehysteria [movie]

Prehysteria [movie] I REMEMBER SEEING TRAILERS FOR THIS MOVIE AND KNEW IT EXISTED, SO IT'S SHOCKING I NEVER WATCHED IT. IT'S A MOVIE FROM THE 90S WHERE NEW MOON STUDIOES SAID 'WE SHOULD MAKE KIDS MOVIES" AND IT'S THE MOST NEW MOON MOVIE POSSIBLE, BY WHICH I MEAN "LAUGHABLY BAD EFFECTS IN 2025 THAT WERE LEGITIMATELY TOP OF THE LINE IN THE EARLY 90S WHERE THEY TRAILER SHOWS EVERY SINGLE EFFECT SHOT THAT EXISTS IN THE ENTIRE RUNTIME OF THE MOVIE". IT WAS OVERALL VERY GENERIC. LIKE THE DAD WAS ALMOST AS MUCH OF A BAD PERSON AS THE BADGUY AND JUST KINDA HELD SOMEONE AT GUNPOINT TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE, BUT ITS NOT REALLY NOTABLE FUNNY BAD.  PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THE DOG BEING IN HEAT SEEMED LIKE IT DROVE EVERY SINGLE PLOT POINT, WHY WAS THIS MOVIE SO OBSESSED WITH THE DOG BEING IN HEAT???
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Good Boy [movie]

 Good Boy [movie] THIS WASN'T THE SUPER BEST MOVIE EVER OR ANYTHING, BUT IT DID WHAT IT WAS DOING WELL, THE DOG WAS A GOOD DOG ACTOR AND I REALLY LIKE THAT EVEN PARTS THAT WEREN'T FILMING THE DOG WERE STILL DOG EYE VIEW CAMERA. I FEEL LIKE THE ACTUAL PLOT WAS EXTREMELY THIN AND WAS EXTREMELY MORE VIBE BASED THAN AN ACTUAL STORY. BUT I DON'T KNOW. DOG ACTING. ALSO THE ONLY PREVIEW BEFORE THIS MOVIE WAS A DIFFERENT DOG MOVIE STARING A DIFFERENT DOG, SO MAYBE THIS WAS A MOVIE FROM DOG UNIVERSE FOR DOGS? PS. THE MOVIE ENDS THEN IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A MAKING OF SEGMENT. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE TEST MARKETED THIS AND WERE LIKE 'THEY WERE TOO MEAN TO THAT DOG" AND HAD TO CUT THAT OFF INSTANTLY THE SECOND THE MOVIE ENDS SHOWING EXACTLY HOW THEY DID EVERY SCARY SHOT. ALSO, HOW THEY DID IT: THEY JUST FILMED THE DOG FOR FOUR ENTIRE YEARS IN THEIR OWN HOUSE AND THE DOG ACTUALLY ISN'T TRAINED AND CAN'T ACT AT ALL BUT THEY JUST HAD THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF FOOTAGE TO GET ANY EM...
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Granny’s Dancing on the Table [movie]

 Granny’s Dancing on the Table [movie] THIS IS AN EXTREMELY BLEAK SWEDISH MOVIE ABOUT A GIRL GROWING UP IN AN EXTREMELY ABUSIVE HOME WHERE THEY LIVE IN THE WOODS AND AREN'T ALLOWED TO SEE ANYONE. IT'S GOT THE GIMMICK WHERE ANY FLASHBACK OR MEMORY OR SIMILAR IS ANIMATED WITH CLAYMATION/FELT DOLLS. IT'S VERY WELL DONE, BUT A VERY SAD MOVIE. PS. IT'S NOT A FUNNY SCENE, IT REALLY REALLY ISN'T, BUT I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THE FACE WASHING PART. PRODUCTION WISE I THINK LIKE HALF THE MOVIE IS HER GETTING HIT AND HURT AND INJURED SO THEY HIT THE PROBLEM THAT IF HER FACE IS ALREADY AS BEAT UP AS THEY CAN MAKE IT THEN THEY CAN'T KEEP HAVING SCENES SHE GETS HURT MORE. SO THERE IS THIS SCENE MIDWAY WHERE HER DAD IS HOLDING HER DOWN AND STARTS WASHING HER VIOLENTLY WITH A POTATO PEELING BRUSH. AND IT'S LIKE, RIGHT AFTER A SCENE SHE STARTS PUBERTY SO IT'S LIKE THIS REAL SINKING FEELING THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE GOES EVEN DARKER, BUT NOPE, SCENE JUST CUTS TO THE NEXT DAY A...
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Pet Shop [movie]

 Pet Shop [movie] MEH, I WAS TRYING TO FIND A FOLLOWUP TO RARE BLUE APE BY WATCHING ANOTHER TERRIBLE PUPPET MOVIE BUT MEH. THIS IS NOTHING. MEH.  PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THE PUPPET LOOKS LIKE A FURBY AND IS NAMED FURBOO AND LIKE, THE CREATOR OF THIS MOVIE SAID FURBY RIPPED IT OFF AND THIS IS A NOTHING GARBAGE MOVIE SO THAT SOUNDS LIKE A STUPID CLAIM BUT LIKE, I DON'T KNOW MAN. THIS PREDATES FURBY BY 4 YEARS AND LOOKS A *LOT* LIKE A WEIRD FURBY AND FURBOO IS A REAL REAL FURBY TYPE NAME. I AM ACTUALLY NOW ALL IN ON THE CONSPERICY THEORY FURBY STOLE IT'S DESIGN FROM THIS MOVIE ABOUT ALIEN COWBOYS KIDNAPPING SOME BROOKLYN KID THAT HAS TO LIVE IN ARIZONA. 
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The Rare Blue Apes of Cannibal Isle [movie]

 The Rare Blue Apes of Cannibal Isle [movie] HELP, I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE WATCHING THIS. HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS MOVIE SOONER???? THIS IS JUST LIKE, AMAZING TERRIBLE MOVIE. I LOVE THIS. I FEEL LIKE I AM LOSING MY MIND AT THE LACK OF SOCIAL COMMENTARY. LIKE IT'S SO SET UP FOR INSANE LEVELS OF MESSAGES ABOUT THE BRITISH EMPIRE AND JUST KINDA COASTS RIGHT BY. GOD HAVE MERCY ON MANKIND / QUACK QUACK HAS GIVEN UP HIS LIFE FOR US.  PS. THIS ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO BE A MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER. IT IS THE MOST "SOMEONE SAYS THE MOST INSANE LINE POSSIBLE THEN THE CAMERA JUST LINGERS FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS ON THE ACTOR" MOVIE IMAGINABLE 
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Lilac Ball [movie]

 Lilac Ball [movie] THE FUNDIMENTAL ISSUE WITH THIS MOVIE IS THAT IT'S KINDA GOOD. SO I DON'T LIKE IT. LIKE, IT'S A 1988 SOVIET SCIFI KIDS MOVIE WITH A BUNCH OF SUPER ELABORATE COSUMES AND SETS AND STILLS OF IT MAKE IT LOOK EXTREMELY WACKY, BUT IT'S KINDA ENOUGH OF A BASIC STORY LINE IT'S NOT WACKY. WHICH MAKES IT JUST A KINDA STRAIGHTFORWARDS KIDS MOVIE AND NOT ALL THAT OVER THE TOP AND MAYBE KINDA BORING? I DON'T KNOW, I HYPED THIS MOVIE UP A TON IN MY BRAIN AND IT'S JUST OKAY. ALTHOUGH I'M LIKE 99% SURE THE HORSE EATER GUY WAS WEARING ACTUAL HUMAN BONES AS A COSTUME. PS. LIVE FROG REACTION
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The City and Its Uncertain Walls [book, audiobook]

 The City and Its Uncertain Walls [book, audiobook] IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET THROUGH THIS, I BOUGHT THIS BOOK WHEN I WAS GOING TO MALTA ON THE JOKE PREMISE EVERY MURAKAMI BOOK IS THE SAME AND HE WOULD SURELY GO TO A MEDITERRANEAN ISLAND (AND LISTEN TO JAZZ, AND MAKE SPAGHETTI) AND HE DID ALL THESE THINGS. TO THE POINT MALTA HAS A WALLED CITY WITH A HANDLESS CLOCK AND I LEGITIMATELY WONDER IF MY JOKE GUESS ACTUALLY WAS SPOT ON RIGHT. LIKE THAT FEELS LIKE A HYPER SPECIFIC THING TO REFERENCE.  ALSO: THIS IS SECRETLY THE FIRST BOOK HE WROTE BEFORE HE PUBLISHED ANYTHING REWRITTEN FOR RELEASE.   PS. I FEEL LIKE IT'S JUST THE COMBINATION OF JUNG AND JAPAN BUT THIS WAS FREAKISHLY PERSONA CODED ABOUT THE AUTISM KID. ALSO, WHAT THE HECK WAS THE AUTISM KID? I WAS LAUGHING ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE WHEN IT WAS "YOU KNOW, IN A WAY, I'M JUST LIKE HIM BUT LESS SO" FROM GUY WHO WRITES SPEGETTI, JAZZ, BEATLES, DREAM CAT BOOK OVER AND OVER EXACTLY THE SAME, BUT THEN WHEN IT TURNED INTO AUTI...
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