Capital Reviews

 The Elephant [television] THEY GOT A BUNCH OF ANIMATIORS AND TOLD THEM TO DO WHATEVER AND SO THEY JUST DREW A BUNCH OF STUFF.  THE FIRST ONE FELT KINDA LIKE NOTHING, AND THE THIRD ONE WAS REALLY NEAT BUT DIDN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT HAD ANY REASON TO BE PART OF THIS, ONLY THE MIDDLE PART SEEMED LIKE IT FIT? LIKE THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ANIMATION AND THAT FELT LIKE THE ONLY ONE ABOUT BEING CREATIVE? OR SOMETHING. I DO REALLY LIKE THE SPIRIT'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SCIENTIST, I LIKE HOW UNRELENTING SHE WAS ABOUT HATING THE STUPID MOVIE IDEA. PS. ALSO MUSIC BUTTON'S HEAD TURNED INTO ZORAK FOR LIKE ONE FRAME. 

 Lucky Day [book, audiobook] CHUCK TINGLE HAS BEEN WRITING NON-GIMMICK NOVELS LATELY AND I THINK THEY ARE KINDA LEGITIMATELY GOOD. THEY AREN'T FLAWLESS, HE HAS A WEIRD ISSUE WITH LIKE, WRITING THE SAME SORT OF CHARACTER TWIST IN EVERY BOOK AND I HATE IT, BUT OVERALL, I THINK HE'S AN ACTUAL GOOD WRITER NOW.  ALSO MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I LISTENED TO THIS ALL UNDER CULT INDOCTRINATION CONDITIONS BUT LIKE, OOF, THERE WAS SOME THEMES IN THIS THAT CUT WAY TOO CLOSE FOR ME. I DON'T KNOW. PS. I LIKE THAT THIS MENTONED KINGDOM OF THE PINE AND GAVE A FULL SCI-FI ANSWER WHY A VOID WOULD DO THE STUFF IT DID IN "STRAIGHT' (ALTHOUGH I LIKED IT MORE WHEN I WAS JUST REWARDED FOR NOTICING THE SHARED UNIVERSE STUFF AND LIKED IT LESS WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY CALLED OUT STRAIGHT FOR BEING A DUMB PREMISE.  IT'S ALL DUMB!)

 Lesbian Space Princess [movie] THIS WAS MORE GOOD THAN BAD, A LOT OF THE JOKES WERE VERY FUNNY, BUT JESUS CHRIST STOP EXPLAINING YOUR OWN JOKES. HAVING THE INCEL ALIENS EXPLAINING HOW TO HIT ON GIRLS AND IT BEING TO SAY HOW HIGH YOUR REDDIT SCORE IS AND THAT YOU HAVE OPINIONS ON MARVEL MOVIES IS A FUNNY JOKE, YOU DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN THAT IS ACTUALLY A BAD IDEA. LIKE, EVERYONE WATCHING GETS THAT "LABRYS" SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE LABIA, WHO DOES THAT NEED TO BE SPELLED OUT FOR AS A JOKE???? THAT SAID, I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT A COUPLE JOKES SO: GOOD MOVIE. PS.  YOU CAN'T MAKE A GAY PARODY OF UTENA, IT'S LIKE MAKING A PARODY OF 1984 BUT MAKING IT ABOUT TOTALITARIANISM. IT'S JUST THE THING THAT IT IS. 

 Gris [game] THIS IS JUST "VERY BEAUTIFUL THINGS HAPPEN: THE GAME" PS. I DON'T LIKE HOW HER ARMS ATTACH

 The Ugly Stepsister [movie] THIS IS A HORRORISH RETELLING OF CINDERELLA, IT COULD BE ANY CINDERELLA BUT IT'S DEFINITLY DISNEY CINDERELLA AND UNLIKE MOST OF THE BLOOD AND HONEY TYPE THINGS THAT ARE BAD, THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY WELL DONE AND GOOD. IT'S MOSTLY LIKE, 1800S PLASTIC SURGERY HORROR.  PS. VERY EUROPEAN. 

 Pink For The Masses [movie] EH, I ALWAYS WATCH THESE VOMIT DOLLS/LUCIFER VALENTINE TYPE MOVIES BECAUSE THEY ARE SHAPED LIKE SOMETHING I'D LIKE BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS VERY MEH. LIKE THEY ARE SHOCK IMAGES, BUT LIKE, NOT PORNOGRAPHY BECAUSE IT'LL BE LIKE, A GIRL FINGERING HERSELF BUT IT'S ART BECAUSE IT HAS CHURCH MUSIC AND APPLE IIGS TEXT PROJECTED ON HER WITH A PROJECTOR AND RANDOM CUTS TO ART OF ANIMALS FROM MANUSCRIPTS AND SOMEONE IS READING A POEM, BUT MEH? IT'S NEVER ANYTHING, IT DOESN'T EVER REALLY MEAN ANYTHING. IT'S NOT TOO OBSCENER FOR ME, IT'S JUST TOO HOLLOW. LIKE SHE'S REALLY CUTTING A SYMBOL IN HER SKIN IN REAL ACTUAL LIFE AND IT'S NOT MAKEUP, BUT IT'S A LAME SYMBOL AND SHE'S NOT CUTTING HERSELF A SHOCKING AMOUNT. NOT TO SAY IT'D BE BETTER IF SHE CUT HERSELF MORE, BUT THAT IT'S NOT COOL TO DO IT LIKE THAT, AND THEY SHOULD JUST NOT DO THAT. LIKE HER CUTTING HERSELF A VERY SLIGHT AMOUNT JUST MAKES IT FEEL LIKE A STUPID ATTEMPT ...