Capital Reviews

 The Warriors [movie] THIS MOVIE IS VERY BORING AND NOT VERY GOOD BUT I 100, 1000, 1 MILLION PERCENT UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S A CULT CLASSIC. IT'S LIKE AMERICA'S ANSWER TO JOJO OR SOMETHING BUT DECADES BEFORE. LIKE IT'S NOT EVEN PARTICULARLY GOOD STYLE, MOST OF THE COSTUMES ARE DUMB AS HELL, BUT IT'S LIKE, THE MOST STYLE. LIKE EVERYONE IS POSING AND DRESSED UP IN EVERY SCENE. THE RADIO DJ IS SOME KINDA REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA NONSENSE. I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THIS WITHOUT MENTIONING A BUNCH OF ANIME BECAUSE NOTHING BUT ANIME GOES TO SUCH ABSURD LEVELS OF OVER STYLIZED NONSENSE.  PS. REALLY THE KINDA THING YOU'D MAKE A DRAG SHOW OUT OF. 

 Superman [movie] THIS MOVIE DEFINITELY COMES OUT TOMORROW, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IT'S PLAYING ALREADY. IN THE 2010S IT FELT LIKE THEY 'SOLVED' BIG BUDGET MOVIES THE WAY FAST FOOD HAS "SOLVED" FOOD. LIKE THEY AREN'T ALWAYS GOOD IN A REAL WAY, BUT LIKE, YOU RARELY GO TO TACO BELL AND SOMETHING ACTUALLY TASTES BAD. I STRONGLY FELT HIGH BUDGET MOVIES HIT THAT POINT, AND THEY DID FOR A WHILE. AND JAMES GUNN WAS THE MAKE MOVIES GOOD MACHINE, AND THEY DID THAT TO SUPERMAN, AND THAT'S THIS, AND IT'S GOOD IN THAT EXACT WAY OF NOT BEING BAD.  PS. THE POLITICS OF THIS WERE REALLY WEIRD, THE WAR FELT SET UP LIKE IT WAS LIKE... RUSSIA VS PALESTINE, BUT FELT LIKE IT WAS UKRAINE VS PALESTINE? WHICH IS A FICTIONAL WAR TO REALLY CONFUSE EVERYTHING. IT DID GET US TO SIMPSONS JOKE USED AS EMOTIONAL MOMENT THOUGH!

 Poop Cruise [movie, nonfiction] HONESTLY THE NAME OF THIS IS BETTER THAN THIS IS. IT HAD SOME REAL REALITY SHOW STYLE EDITING I DIDN'T LIKE AND NOT REALLY A LOT HAPPENED. IT'S A VERY FUNNY NAME THOUGH.  PS. I HATED THE THREE WOMEN AT THE TABLE AND I HATED THE GUY WHO HAD A HARROWING STORY OF NOT POOPING FOR LIKE 4 DAYS

 Escape from New York [movie] THIS FELT LIKE THE TOP OF "MOVIES IT SEEMED LIKE I'D HAVE WATCHED". BOY, THIS REALLY IS THE SOURCE OF EVERY SINGLE THING HIDEO KOJIMA DOES, HUH? I KNEW THAT WAS TRUE BUT I NEVER *KNEW* HOW TRUE.  PS. I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE "THE WARRIORS" WASN'T FREE. 

 Monster Train 2 [game] GOD, I PUT 160 HOURS INTO THIS. I BEAT EVERY CHALLENGE RUN AND BEAT MAX COVENANT TITANS WITH EVERY SINGLE CLAN (BUT NOT EVERY SINGLE CLAN COMBO BECAUSE THAT'S LIKE, 185 NEAR IDENTICAL RUNS). THE ONLY REASON I'M STOPPING IS THE DEVS PUT OUT A DEVELOPMENT ROADMAP AND THERE IS MAJOR CONTENT AND DLC COMING WITHIN A YEAR.  I LIKE THIS GAME A LOT BUT IT'S WEIRD, I WILL NEVER LIST THIS AS MY FAVORITE GAME, OR ANYTHING LIKE IT. IT REALLY IS JUST THAT ROUGELIKES HOOK INTO SOME SORT OF PART OF MY BRAIN AND MAKE ME WANT TO PLAY THEM FOREVER.  PS. IT WILL BOTHER ME FOREVER THE TRAIN IS VERTICAL. THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE GAME IS SO SO SO CLEARLY DESIGNED AROUND TRAIN CARS,  LIKE THE WHOLE REASON IT'S A TRAIN AT ALL IS THAT. AT THE START OF THIS GAME THEY SMASH THE OLD TRAIN AND MAKE A NEW ONE, SO IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THEIR CHANCE TO FIX IT BUT NOPE, TRAIN ENGINE AT THE TOP. I GET GRAPHICALLY WHY YOU WOULD DO THAT, BUT YOU CAN JUST MAKE IT JUST A DISPLAY THI...

 The Memory Police [book, audiobook] THIS BOOK IS ROUGH TO READ. IT'S A BOOK ABOUT FANTASTICAL POLICE RAIDS AND FANTASTICAL SCI-FI ANNE FRANK STUFF,  BUT IT'S ALSO JUST AN ABSTRACT BOOK ABOUT MEMORY AND IDENTITY AND THINGS LIKE THAT. BUT IT FEELS HARD TO READ IN THE CURRENT DAY BECAUSE LIKE, THE POLICE RAIDS STUFF FEELS MORE RELEVANT WHEN THEY ARE LIKE, SECRET AGENTS ATTACKING KOBE NINJA HOUSE DOWN THE ROAD IRL. SO IT'S LIKE "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THESE TYPEWRITERS AND PHILOSOPHY,  GO BACK TO THE LITERAL PLOT". IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE WAY. LIKE YOU ARE CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO CARE MORE ABOUT THE METAPHORICAL THEMES BUT LIKE, THE LITERAL PLOT IS VERY GRIPPING AND RELEVANT AND IT MAKES NOW NOT THE TIME TO READ THIS I GUESS? PS. THE MECHANISM OF FORGETTING WAS VERY CLEARLY MEANT TO BE ABSTRACT AND ILL DEFINED. THE BOOK WAS VERY DISINTERESTED IN BEING ANY SORT OF HARD SCI-FI THAT HAD D&D RULES FOR HOW THE MAGIC WORKED. BUT THERE WAS A BUNCH OF THINGS LIKE FRUIT A...