Capital Reviews

 Diablo IV: Vessel of Hatred [game, dlc] I FEEL LIKE I REALLY TRUELY HATE DIABLO IV. IT REALLY FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING BAD IN VIDEOGAME DESIGN ALL MASHED TOGETHER. IT FEELS SO MUCH LIKE A MOBILE GAME WHERE THERE IS 1 BILLION SYSTEMS AND ALWAYS A NEXT THING TO DO IN SOME ACTIVITY THAT TAKES 3 MINUTES SO YOU NEVER LOSE INTEREST, BUT LIKE A MOBILE GAME NO MATTER HOW IMPACTFUL ANY DECISION FEELS LIKE IT SHOULD BE YOU CAN TELL IT JUST WASHES INTO SOME HOMOGENIOUS SLOP THAT IS THE EXACT SAME AS ANYTHING. LIKE YOU JUST FIGHT GENERIC ENEMIES AND IT NEVER FEELS LIKE IT MATTERS OR THAT YOU EVEN REALLY SEE WHAT THEY ARE, YOU GET EQUIPMENT THAT IS JUST A BUNCH OF INTERCHANGABLE MEANINGLESS STATS, ALL THE CHARACTER BUILDING IS EXTREMELY LINEAR. IT JUST ALL SUCKS. I HATE IT.  PS. I HATED IT WHEN IT CAME OUT TOO, BUT THEY HAD A SALE ON A BUNDLE OF THIS AND THE EXPANSION COMING IN APRIL FOR THE SAME PRICE AS ONE EXPANTION SO I FIGURED IT'D BE A CHANCE FOR A SECOND TRY BECAUSE SOMETIMES THESE SO...

 Goodnight PunPun Vol #2 [book, comic] AH, THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST EMO CAPITAL REVIEWS EVER GETS BUT I THINK I AM STRUGGLING TO CONNECT TO THIS A LITTLE BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS ARE JUST AS ALIENATED AND PATHETIC AS I AM BUT THEY GET TO HAVE MUCH MORE SENSIBLE BACKSTORIES JUSTIFYING IT.  PS. I KNOW THE VOLUME BREAKS ARE ARBITARY AND DIFFERENT THAN THE JAPANESE ONES BUT IT BUGS ME SO MUCH THIS ENDED LIKE 10 PAGES AND ONE CHAPTER AFTER IT SAYS "GOODNIGHT PUNPUN" 

 Iron Lung [movie] I DON'T KNOW, THIS MOVIE KINDA SUCKS BUT I ALSO KINDA LOVE IT? LIKE, IT'S A YOUTUBER MOVIE BASED ON A VIDEOGAME SO IT'S ABOUT AS GOOD AS THAT SOUNDS. *BUT* BECAUSE OF THAT IT GETS TO BE THE MOST OFF THE RAILS ULTRA PREMISE HEAVY HIGH CONCEPT NONSENSE YOU CAN IMAGINE. SO LIKE, IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT BILLION OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE WHERE ONLY A FEW HUMANS ARE LEFT AND THEY ARE EXPLORING A MOON ENTIRELY MADE OF HUMAN BLOOD. AND THIS ABSURD PLOT IS TAKEN 100% SERIOUSLY AND UNIRONICALLY. THERE IS LIKE MAYBE ONE JOKE EVER IN THE WHOLE MOVIE AND THAT KINDA RULES ON IT'S OWN.  PS. IT'S WEIRD THAT LIKE, TRADITIONAL STARS YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THEM. I WILL KNOW WHO TAYLOR SWIFT IS NO MATTER WHAT, BUT LIKE, FOR SOME REASON YOUTUBE IS GREAT WHERE IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SOMEONE THEY JUST *WILL NOT* EXIST TO YOU, SO LIKE, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MARKAPLIER VIDEO EVER IN MY LIFE. 

 The Fully Automated Love Life of Henry Keanridge [book] THIS IS A 1971 PLAYBOY MAGAZINE SCI-FI ANTHOLOGY BOOK. I EXPECTED THIS TO BE BAD, I EXPECTED IT TO BE LIKE, OFFENSIVE OR SEXIST OR LOW BROW OR TRASHY OR SOMETHING. I DID NOT PREDICT IT WOULD BE THIS *BORING*. ALMOST EVERY STORE SIMPLY WENT NO WHERE. LIKE THE TITLE STORY IS JUST, A GUY WORKING IN A SHIPPING DEPARTMENT AND HAS ACCESS TO A SCHEDULING COMPUTER SO HE USES THAT TO DATE MULTIPLE WOMEN. FINE ENOUGH PREMISE, BUT IT JUST GOES ON FOR A WHILE THEN THE PLACE THAT FEELS LIKE A TWIST OR PUNCHLINE WOULD COME, HE JUST KINDA STARTS A BUSINESS IT'S LIKE EVERY STORY HAD TO BE AS ANTICLIMACTIC AS POSSIBLE. I GUESS THERE WAS ONE STORY WHERE A HOUSE HAD MAGIC WANDS AND TURNED THE LADY INTO A CAT THEN THE LADY MARRIED THE HOUSE.  PS. EXTREMELY WACKY COVER

 The Gate of the Feral Gods [book, audiobook] THE THING ABOUT THIS SERIES IS EVERYONE HAS SO MUCH PLOT ARMOR AND DEUS EX MACHINA STUFF, BUT LIKE, IT'S DIEGETIC SO YOU CAN'T BE MAD?  I AM A LITTLE MAD AT HOW DUMB THE ICE AGENT AND WIFE PLOT ENDED UP BEING. LIKE, I AM SURE THE PVP RING WILL BE THE PLOT OF THE WHOLE NEXT BOOK, BUT FOR ALL THE BUILD UP IT TOTALLY SUCKED. LIKE IT FEELS LIKE IT HAD SO MANY LEVELS OF GIVING UP ON WRITING THE PLOTLINES.  PS. THESE ARE 'AUDIO BOOK +" ON AUDIBLE WHERE THEY ARE LIKE, SUPER PRODUCED WITH MULTIPLE ACTORS AND VOICE EFFECTS AND SOUND EFFECT AND STUFF TO THE POINT I FEEL BAD EVEN LISTING IT AS A "BOOK" ON CAPITAL REVIEWS. AT THE END OF EVERY ONE THEY DO A LITTLE IN CHARACTER AD FOR THE SITE THAT DOES IT. WHATS THE ORDER THESE CAME OUT VS THE BOOK RELEASES? THE SECOND BOOK SPOILED/FORSHADOWED STUFF FROM THIS BOOK. WAS THAT INTENTIONAL, OR WAS IT JUST THE CONCEPT OF THERE BEING DONUT MERCH AND IT BEING CHEAP AND BAD IS JUST SU...

 The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook [book, audiobook] THE D&D VIDEOGAME BOOK SERIES HAD A TRAIN EPISODE? WHAT A SURPRISE PS. IT NEVER REALLY MATTERED BUT THE WAS NO POINT IN THIS BOOK I UNDERSTOOD THE LEVEL LAYOUT.