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The Present [movie]

 The Present [movie] I REALLY FEEL LIKE THIS MOVIE SHOULD BE UP THERE WITH BOOK OF HENRY FOR "ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MOVIES" BUT IT'S PRESENTED AND ACTED SO DULL AND BLAND NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO NOTICE THIS IS LIKE THE MOST MESSED UP THING TO COME UP IN YEARS. LIKE IT'S A FAMILY FILM ABOUT THREE KIDS AND THEIR PARENTS AND THE PARENTS ARE GETTING A DIVORCE AND YOU FIND OUT THEIR AUTISTIC NON-VERBAL SON HAS REPAIRED A MAGIC CLOCK AND IS USING IT TO RELIVE THE DIVORCE DAY OVER AND OVER TRYING TO STOP THE DIVORCE AND EVENTUALLY ROPES THE TWO OTHER KIDS INTO AN EVER MORE ELABORATE GROUNDHOG DAY PLAN. THE ENDING YOU'D EXPECT, AND HOPE FOR IN A KID'S MOVIE LIKE THIS IS SOME 'KIDS, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, NOTHING YOU DID CAUSED THE DIVORCE AND NOTHING YOU COULD DO COULD CHANGE IT" BUT NOPE!! MORAL OF THE MOVIE: AUTISM KID RUINED THE FAMILY BY LACK OF COMMUNICATION AND THEY WILL GET DIVORCED UNLESS HE LEARNS TO TALK.  PS. ON THE OTHER HAND THE AUTISTIC KID'S PL...

Sonic 3 [movie]

 Sonic 3 [movie] SHADOW'S BACKSTORY IS LEGITIMATELY ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS EVER WRITTEN AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT HIS MOVIE DECIDED TO JOKE AROUND AND FORTH WALL BREAK EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENED BUT NEVER AT ANY POINT EVEN A LITTLE BIT DID ANYTHING BUT PLAY THE SHADOW STUFF 10000% STRAIGHT. THAT IS BOTH THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE DECISION, FAR FUNNIER THAN IF THEY ACTUALLY EVER MADE FUN OF ANY OF IT AND ALSO HAD MY NEPHEW SHAKING AT HOW COOL THE SUPER SHADOW STUFF WAS.  PS. THE ONE THING THEY BACKED AWAY FROM WAS GIVING MARIA AIDS.  

Holiday Spirits [play]

 Holiday Spirits [play] THIS WAS A SERIES OF SHORT PLAYS/READINGS THAT WERE CHRISTMAS THEME AND 'SCARY STORY' THEMED AND THE FIRST ONE WAS FLAT OUT AWFUL AND THE SECOND ONE WAS FAIRLY GENERIC SO IT FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BE VERY MEH, BUT NO, IT ENDED UP REALLY GOOD.  NOT EVERY SECTION WAS A WINNER A FEW WERE PRETTY BAD (YETI MONKEY PAW WISH THING/CHRISTMAS TREE WHO CAN TALK AND IS JEWISH/EXTREMELY MUDDLED STORY ABOUT GLACIER STRIDERS), BUT IT ENDED UP WITH TWO LEGITIMATELY GOOD HORROR STORIES (GUY HAS TO LEAVE A PRESENT OF HUMAN BONES EVERY CHRISTMAS TO AN UNKNOWN CURSE/WOMAN GETTING STRANGE PHONE CALLS TO WANDER OFF INTO THE STORM) AND TWO LEGITIMATELY GOOD COMEDY ONES (KRAMPUS AND SANTA ARGUING FOR THE LIFE OF A CHILD/A NONOBSERVANT COUPLE TALKING ABOUT MIDSOMMER LIKE IT WAS THEIR RELIGION'S CHRISTMAS) I REALLY LIKED THIS! PS. SHADOW DUCK

Halls of Torment [game]

 Halls of Torment [game] IT'S VAMPIRE SURVIVOR BUT DIABLO 2 BUT BAD.  PS. IT'S NOT THAT BAD, JUST WORSE THAN ALL THE OTHER GAMES LIKE THIS

Piece by Piece [movie,nonfiction]

 Piece by Piece [movie,nonfiction] THIS DIDN'T REALLY SEEM VERY GOOD OR BAD. IT WAS A FAIRLY SLIGHT INTERVIEW ANIMATED TO BE LEGO. THAT IS AN INTERESTING ENOUGH PREMISE BUT IT WAS A LOT OF "I COULDN'T THINK OF A SONG AND THEN I *COULD* THINK OF ONE" WHICH ISN'T VERY MUCH IN TERMS OF CINEMATICS. IT DID HAVE CARL SAGAN TALKING OVER LEGO MARTIN LUTHER KING.  PS. IT DID HAVE PG-SPRAY THAT KINDA SEEMS LIKE IT'S A HARDER DRUG THAN JUST WEED WOULD BE

Arcane [television]

 Arcane [television] MEH? THIS IS A FRUSTRATING SHOW. IT STARTS OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN IT SHOULD BE AND IT NEVER REALLY GETS "BAD" BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT STARTED WITH THIS REALLY STRONG THEME AND POINT AND JUST DILUTED IT MORE AND MORE UNTIL IT WAS NOTHING. LIKE THE FIRST HALF OR SO IT'S A PAINFULLY ON THE NOSE BLUE SIDE AND A PURPLE SIDE AND THIS REALLY STRONG CENTRAL THESIS THE THINGS THAT MAKES SOMEONE GOOD ARE THE EXACT SAME THING THAT MAKES SOMEONE BAD AND THAT IT'S TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN. IT REALLY DID STUFF WITH THAT, IT HAD SO MANY SUBVERSIONS OF WHAT WOULD NORMALLY HAPPEN IN A SHOW. THEN IT JUST KEPT GOING AWAY FROM THAT TO WEREWOLF DADS AND TIME TRAVEL AND WHATEVER. I REALLY FEEL LIKE IT'S SUMMED UP THAT THE FIGHT IN THE END WAS YELLOW POWERS VS GREEN POWERS.  PS. ALSO IMAGINE DRAGONS EXISTS DIEGETICALLY IN THIS. LIKE, THE THEME SONG IS IMAGINE DRAGONS AND THEY ARE A BAND THAT EXISTS IN THE WORLD. (ALSO I SAW SOMEONE JOKE THAT EVERY MUSIC VIDEO SEGMEN...

Deck the Halls [movie]

 Deck the Halls [movie] A PAINFUL EARLY 2000S CHRISTMAS MOVIE WITH A PAINFULLY EARLY 2000S PREMISE. LIKE, DANNY DEVITO CAN SEE HIS NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE ON GOOGLE EARTH BUT NOT HIS OWN SO HE NEEDS TO LIGHT IT UP SO IT CAN BE SEEN FROM SPACE. BUT LIKE, WHAT? WHY CAN THEY SEE THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE? THEY HAND WAVE WHY IT'S LIVE BUT IT'S SUCH A EARLY 2000S "I HEARD ABOUT GOOGLE EARTH AND WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE WITH THAT BUT I HAVEN'T LOOKED OR THOUGHT ABOUT IT MUCH" PS. IT'S SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE MOVIE THINKS THE RELATIVE MORALITY OF THE TWO CHARACTERS ARE. THEY ARE BOTH BAD AND LEARN THAT LESSON IN THE END BUT LIKE, THE APPARENT "GOOD GUY" IS SO CLEARLY A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE AND IT'S SO UNCLEAR IF THE MOVIE KNOWS THAT