Capital Reviews

 Joker: Folie à Deux [movie] I THINK I LIKE THIS MOVIE QUITE A BIT. IT'S SUCH A STRANGE MOVIE. IT REALLY IS INSANE THIS MOVIE WAS MADE OR CAME OUT. EVERYONE HATES IT BUT I THINK IT'S KINDA GOOD. NOT EVEN SO BAD IT'S GOOD. JUST, THEY NEED TO MAKE MOVIES LIKE THIS SOMETIMES. SOMETIMES JOKER 2 NEEDS TO BE A WEIRD LADY GAGA MUSICAL FOR SOME REASON. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING ABOUT THAT, IT'S SO HARD TO EVEN TELL WHAT MESSAGE THIS WAS EVEN GOING FOR, IS IT A MOVIE FROM THE UNIVERSE WHERE JOKER ONE WAS MAKING INCELS KILL PEOPLE, LIKE THE NEWS SAID? IS IT SOME VERY WEIRD AND CONVOLUTED TRUMP THING? IT'S SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE MESSAGE WAS GOING FOR. IS THE WHOLE THING A SHAGGY DOG STORY AND THE GUY AT THE END IS HEATH LEDGER? I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE IT.  PS. IT'S A DANCER IN THE DARK REMAKE. 

 Poe's Children [play] THIS ISN'T SO BAD OR ANYTHING, IT'S BASICALLY JUST A COUPLE READINGS OF A COUPLE POE POEMS. MAYBE WATCHING IT REMOTELY WHILE DOING SOMETHING ELSE AND PAYING LESS THAN HALF PRICE IS MAYBE THE RIGHT WAY TO WATCH IT THOUGH. PS. I THINK I DON'T REALLY GET THE PREMISE. POE HAD NO CHILDREN IN REAL LIFE. THIS IS "WHAT IF POE'S CHILDREN WERE AT HIS FUNERAL AND SEEMED TO RESENT HIM" BUT NONE OF THEM GET ANY REAL DIALOG AND JUST SAY RANDOM POEMS SO LIKE.... WHAT IF? IT FEELS LIKE IT IS RAISING A QUESTION THAT IT DOES NOT TRY TO ANSWER AND DOES NOT SEEM TO MAKE ANY ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY AS AN INTERESTING QUESTION. 

 Parkour Civilization [movie?] THIS IS A MINECRAFT SERIES/FAN MOVIE BASED ON A CIVILIZATION WHERE PARKOUR JUMPS ARE MONEY, OR... SOMETHING. ACTUALLY, HONESTLY, THIS IS CLEARLY STUPID AND BAD AND FOR MINECRAFT KIDS BUT IT'S WEIRD HOW COHERENTLY THIS IS WRITTEN. LIKE, IT HAD FORESHADOWING, IT HAD PLOT ELEMENTS THAT CAME BACK, IT HAD REASONABLE LOGIC ON THINGS. LIKE, IT WASN'T GOOD, BUT IT WAS SURPRISING HOW REASONABLE THIS AS BAD YA FICTION. PS. NO ONE JUMPS FOR THE BEEF ORIGIN

 Hotel Inferno 2 [movie] I CAN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY I LIKED THE FIRST ONE BUT DIDN'T REALLY LIKE THIS ONE. THIS LEANED SO HARD INTO BEING A VIDEOGAME. HE HAD HEALTH POTIONS, GRENADES, GOT ALL HIS ITEMS FROM A WITCH AT A SHOP. EVERY ENEMY TYPE HAD SPECIFIC MECHANICS. HE HAD TO COLLECT FOUR ELEMENTS. BUT I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST WAS MORE BORING.  PS. IT HAD THE AESTHETICS OF THE GAME 'CHILLER' ON THE NES. 

 Persona 5: Strikers [game] IT IS SHOCKING HOW MUCH THIS IS AN ACTUAL GAME. MOSOU GAMES ARE GENERALLY THE LOWEST QUALITY TRASH FAN SERVICE NOTHING GAMES, BUT THIS IS LIKE, LEGITIMATE PERSONA SEQUEL. LIKE, THIS PROBABLY HAD AS MUCH ANIMATED CUT SCENE AS THE WHOLE ORIGINAL GAME AND HOURS OF DIALOG. STORY WISE TOO IT'S A WAY BETTER FOLLOWUP THAT ROYAL WAS. LIKE, P5 HAD ALL THE BAD GUYS BE CARTOON VILLIANS AND THIS IS STILL FAIRLY BLACK AND WHITE ABOUT IT, BUT MADE EVERY MONARCH A 'GOOD PERSON' AND DID AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THAT.  PS. IT'S WEIRD THEY NEVER MENTION AIGIS IN THE PLOT BUT ALSO I AM GLAD THEY DIDN'T

 Hotel Inferno [movie] I THINK THIS VERY STUPID MOVIE IS... KINDA GOOD? LIKE EVERY PART OF IT IS TERRIBLE AND IT KINDA WORKS? LIKE, FROM THE TRANSLATION BEING RESIDENT EVIL QUALITY AND THE ACTORS CLEARLY NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH, TO THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BEING SO BAD THEY ARE KINDA UNCANNY LOOKING, TO THE WEIRD ULTRA VIDEOGAME MECHANICY STORY TELLING LIKE A MAP TELLING WHERE AMMO IS TO THE KINDA COOL TAKE ON HOW DEMONS WORK. IT'S LIKE A WEIRD SILENT HILL MOVIE.  PS. I LIKE THAT THE MOVIE GIMMICK IS BEING FIRST PERSON AND IT STARTS OUT WITH HIM HAVING CYBER GLASSES THAT JUSTIFY THAT BUT THEY DROP THAT INSTANTLY.