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Elden Ring [game]

 Elden Ring [game] I'M LATE TO THE PARTY SAYING THIS BUT MAN THIS GAME IS GOOD. I'VE PLAYED OTHER SOULS GAMES BUT NEVER BEAT THEM. MAYBE JUST HAVING MORE FREE TIME WAS THE ANSWER BUT I FEEL LIKE THE SECRET IS OPEN WORLD MEANS YOU CAN ALWAYS WANDER OFF AND DO SOMETHING ELSE ANY TIME ANYTHING IS TOO HARD AND THAT BENIFITS THE GAME SO MUCH. IT'S GREAT. I ENDED UP WITH SOME NONSENSE FAITH/DEX BUILD USING HOOK CLAWS AND THE GODSLAYER GREATSWORD, WHICH ARE BOTH PRETTY BAD WEAPONS AND I REALLY LIKED HOW MUCH THE GAME JUST LET ME DO THAT.  PS. I LOVE PLAYER RUNES SO MUCH. IT'S SUCH A GOOD SYSTEM. IT'S THE PERFECT BALANCE OF EVERYTHING BEING SO OBSCURE YOU NEVER FIND IT AND THE GAME JUST TELLING YOU EVERYTHING TO DO. ALSO SOMEHOW IT JUST HAS THIS LEVEL OF COMEDY TIMING THAT NO OTHER GAME MANAGES. THERE IS SO MANY TIMES YOU READ SOMETHING GO 'WHAT?" THEN INSTANTLY SOMETHING FALLS ON YOU KILLING YOU AND YOU GET THE JOKE. ALSO MY FAVORITE THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS W...

The Laws of Eternity [movie, anime]

 The Laws of Eternity [movie, anime] YOU KNOW THE HAPPY HAPPIEST CULT IN EARTHBOUND? DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE BASED ON A REAL CULT AND THAT CULT MAKES ANIME? BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. GOD THIS RULES.  IT'S LIKE A UFO SCIFI RELIGION THAT JUST PULLS WHATEVER RANDOM HISTORICAL FIGURE. SO LIKE, ALBERT IS UP IN THE 8TH DIMENSION MAKING CLONES OF HIMSELF WITH THOMAS EDISON WHILE HELLEN KELLER IS RULING OVER THE ANGELS AND HITLER IS DOWN IN HELL SOUL LINKED TO A GIANT MOUNTAIN SIZED EVIL ELEPHANT WITH FREDRICH NIETZCHE. THIS MOVIE IS REALLY BORING, BUT EVERY GUEST APPEARANCE IS THE FUNNIEST THING. LIKE THE GUY THAT STARTED TOYOTA IS SOME IMPORTANT PART OF THE COSMOLOGY OF THE UNIVERSE.  PS. I AM TOTALLY ENAMORED BY THE IDEA THAT WHEN YOU DIE THE WAY YOU GO TO HEAVEN OR HELL IS THAT THEY JUST SHOW A MOVIE OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW THEN EVERYONE USES A PLAYSTATION CONTROLLER TO VOTE IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN OR NOT. 

Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror [movie]

  Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror [movie]  IT'S REALLY FUN TO WATCH THIS AFTER THE REMAKE. THERE IS SO MANY WEIRD LITTLE DETAILS FROM THIS THE REMAKE REMADE INTO THINGS. I AM SHOCKED THE PART THEY ARE LIKE "THERE IS A WEREWOLF" THEN IT CUTS TO WEIRD HYENA(?) DID NOT MAKE THE REMAKE. ALSO THIS MOVIE HOLDS UP KINDA OKAY. MOVIES THIS OLD ARE USUALLY NOTHING AND UNWATCHABLE BUT THIS IS KINDA DECENT AND ENGAGING.  PS. I LOVE THE CAT WASN'T IN THE ENDING OF THIS. I WAS SURE IT'D MAKE MORE SENSE IN THE NONSEXUAL ENDING THIS HAD AND SO THAT IS WHY IT'D BE THERE. THE CAT EXISTED IN THE MOVIE BUT NOT AT THE END. SO THE NEW MOVIE JUST MADE THAT ELEMENT UP. 

Nosferatu [movie]

 Nosferatu [movie]  THIS MOVIE IS REALLY GOOD BUT I HAVE A CONSPERICY THEORY THAT EGGERS MADE A BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE THEN WANTED TO MAKE A BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE ON COLOR FILM AS A GIMMICK AND THEN JUST THOUGHT OF THE MOST BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE HE COULD THINK OF AND JUST MADE THAT.  PS. WHY WAS THE CAT THERE AT THE END? DID IT JUST SIT AND WATCH? CUCK CHAIR CAT. 

Robotrix [movie]

 Robotrix  [movie] I HAVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS ON THIS. IT'S A 1991 HONG KONG ACTION SCI-FI AND THE BAD ACTION SCI-FI IS SO STUPID AND RULES SO HARD. LIKE AN EVIL SCIENTIST TRANSFERS HIS MIND INTO A TERMINATOR ROBOT SO A COP LADY HE KILLED HAS TO HAVE HER BRAIN TRANSFERRED INTO ANOTHER ROBOT (THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE HER) AND EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY SHOW ANY SCI-FI NONSENSE OR ROBOT FIGHT THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD. BUT LIKE, THE WHOLE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE IS A SERIES OF SET UPS FOR SOFT CORE PORN AND THEN A REALLY UNFUN WAY TOO GRAPHIC RAPE SCENE AND IT JUST GRINDS THE MOVIE TO A HALT AND IS JUST WAY TOO LONG BETWEEN THE JOJO ROBOTS FIGHTING ROCKY ROBOT AND THE LADIES RUNNING VERTICALLY ON A CLIFF  PS. BOTH THE MAIN GIRLS *DO* HAVE VERY BIG BOOBS, THE MOVIE JUST BECOMES REALLY UNSUFFERABLE AT HOW LONG IT CUTS AWAY FROM THE PLOT TO ESTABLISH THIS. 

Y2k [movie]

 Y2k [movie] SOMETIMES I DISLIKE A MOVIE AND THEN FEEL 'THIS JUST ISN'T A MOVIE MADE FOR ME' BUT THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE ABOUT BEING A NERD IN HIGHSCHOOL IN 1999 AND LIKE, IT'S JUST NOT GOOD. IT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE MADE BY AD LIB. LIKE IT MENTIONS A BUNCH OF EARLY 2000S STUFF BUT NOT EVEN IN THE RIGHT WAY. LIKE IT FEELS LIKE THE TEMPLATE OF AN 80S NOSTALGA MOVIE BUT WITH THE WRONG STUFF, LIKE THEY ARE BLOWING IN GAME CARTRIDGES BUT THEY ARE N64 GAMES A BUNCH OF TEENS ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION TRYING TO REMEMBER HOMER SIMPSONS NAME. IT ALL FEELS LIKE A MOVIE WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WAY YOUNGER IMAGINING WHAT 2000 WAS LIKE OR SOMETHING. LIKE EVEN THE COMPUTER ANIMATION MAN LOOKING LIKE LAWNMOWER MAN (WAY TOO PRE-2000) BUT ACTING LIKE ADULT SWIM (WAY TOO POST 2000) WAS ANNOYING. IT WAS VERY FUNNY THAT FRED DURST WAS A MAJOR CHARACTER IN THIS AT LEAST. IT MAY BE THE WHOLE MOVIE EXISTED JUST TO SET UP THAT CLIMAX AND I GUESS IT'S OKAY IF SOMEONE MADE A WHOLE MOVIE FOR THAT JOKE...

Secret Levels: Circles [television]

 Secret Levels: Circles [television] WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU *EVER* MAKE THIS??? I HEARD THIS WAS EDGY PACMAN AND ASSUMED IT'D BE THAT ONE WOOT TEE-SHIRT EVERYONE LIKED IN LIKE 2005 WHERE IT'S AN ASTRONAUT TAKING PILLS BUT THIS IS LIKE 1000X MORE MESSED UP THAN THAT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS BAD OR GOOD, IT'S SO FAR OFF THE TRACKS OF A SANE THING TO EXIST. PS. I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT SECRET LEVELS EXISTS TO GET REMOVED FROM AMAZON PRIME THEN BECOME INSANE LOST MEDIA THAT SOMEONE ON REDDIT HAS LIKE ONE FRAME FROM IN 20 YEARS.