Capital Reviews

 Parkour Civilization [movie?] THIS IS A MINECRAFT SERIES/FAN MOVIE BASED ON A CIVILIZATION WHERE PARKOUR JUMPS ARE MONEY, OR... SOMETHING. ACTUALLY, HONESTLY, THIS IS CLEARLY STUPID AND BAD AND FOR MINECRAFT KIDS BUT IT'S WEIRD HOW COHERENTLY THIS IS WRITTEN. LIKE, IT HAD FORESHADOWING, IT HAD PLOT ELEMENTS THAT CAME BACK, IT HAD REASONABLE LOGIC ON THINGS. LIKE, IT WASN'T GOOD, BUT IT WAS SURPRISING HOW REASONABLE THIS AS BAD YA FICTION. PS. NO ONE JUMPS FOR THE BEEF ORIGIN

 Hotel Inferno 2 [movie] I CAN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY I LIKED THE FIRST ONE BUT DIDN'T REALLY LIKE THIS ONE. THIS LEANED SO HARD INTO BEING A VIDEOGAME. HE HAD HEALTH POTIONS, GRENADES, GOT ALL HIS ITEMS FROM A WITCH AT A SHOP. EVERY ENEMY TYPE HAD SPECIFIC MECHANICS. HE HAD TO COLLECT FOUR ELEMENTS. BUT I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST WAS MORE BORING.  PS. IT HAD THE AESTHETICS OF THE GAME 'CHILLER' ON THE NES. 

 Persona 5: Strikers [game] IT IS SHOCKING HOW MUCH THIS IS AN ACTUAL GAME. MOSOU GAMES ARE GENERALLY THE LOWEST QUALITY TRASH FAN SERVICE NOTHING GAMES, BUT THIS IS LIKE, LEGITIMATE PERSONA SEQUEL. LIKE, THIS PROBABLY HAD AS MUCH ANIMATED CUT SCENE AS THE WHOLE ORIGINAL GAME AND HOURS OF DIALOG. STORY WISE TOO IT'S A WAY BETTER FOLLOWUP THAT ROYAL WAS. LIKE, P5 HAD ALL THE BAD GUYS BE CARTOON VILLIANS AND THIS IS STILL FAIRLY BLACK AND WHITE ABOUT IT, BUT MADE EVERY MONARCH A 'GOOD PERSON' AND DID AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THAT.  PS. IT'S WEIRD THEY NEVER MENTION AIGIS IN THE PLOT BUT ALSO I AM GLAD THEY DIDN'T

 Hotel Inferno [movie] I THINK THIS VERY STUPID MOVIE IS... KINDA GOOD? LIKE EVERY PART OF IT IS TERRIBLE AND IT KINDA WORKS? LIKE, FROM THE TRANSLATION BEING RESIDENT EVIL QUALITY AND THE ACTORS CLEARLY NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH, TO THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BEING SO BAD THEY ARE KINDA UNCANNY LOOKING, TO THE WEIRD ULTRA VIDEOGAME MECHANICY STORY TELLING LIKE A MAP TELLING WHERE AMMO IS TO THE KINDA COOL TAKE ON HOW DEMONS WORK. IT'S LIKE A WEIRD SILENT HILL MOVIE.  PS. I LIKE THAT THE MOVIE GIMMICK IS BEING FIRST PERSON AND IT STARTS OUT WITH HIM HAVING CYBER GLASSES THAT JUSTIFY THAT BUT THEY DROP THAT INSTANTLY. 

 All Hallow's Eve [play] THIS WAS A PLAY THAT WAS A REMAKE OF 'HALLOWEEN' BUT LIKE, WHAT IF SHAKESPEARE WROTE IT. IT'S A CHARMING IDEA AND THEY DID A GOOD JOB WITH IT. SOME OF THE "THEY ARE JUST SAYING STUFF" DIALOG MADE IT IN AND THAT WAS FUN. I DIDN'T LIKE WHEN THEY USED ACTUAL SHAKESPEARE LINES, IF HE WROTE IT HE WOULDN'T QUOTE HIMSELF!  PS. I WATCHED A LIVE STREAM OF IT AND THE AUDIO WAS SUPER QUIET BUT THE SOUND EFFECTS WERE PUT RIGHT INTO THE STREAM SO I HAD TO TURN IT WAY UP THEN EVERY TIME THE HALLOWEEN SOUND WOULD PLAY IT'D BLAST OUT THE SPEAKERS. 

 Halloween [movie] I THINK I'VE WATCHED ALL THE HALLOWEEN MOVIES, BUT MOSTLY NOT IN THE SPAN OF THE EXISTENCE OF CAPITAL REVIEWS AND THEY MOSTLY BLEND TOGETHER AS BEING "JASON MOVIES BUT WORSE" BUT LIKE A LOT OF THESE HORROR SERIES THE FIRST ONE IS GOOD.  I THINK THIS DOING A LOT OF BROAD DAYLIGHT NON-SUPERNATURAL STALKING BEFORE THE CLIMAX IS A THING A LOT OF THESE MOVIES DON'T HAVE.  PS. I FEEL LIKE THE BEST PART OF THIS IS HOW MUCH "JUST SAYING STUFF" BASED DIALOG THERE IS.  IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY LIKE A COMEDY MOVIE, THERE IS JUST A LOT OF SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING AND SOMEONE SAYING SOME LITTLE STUPID COMMENT ON IT THAT IS VERY CHARMING.